Let them be who they are.

I came across a blog post recently that made me proud to be a mom (well, a fairly open minded one) and sad about the reaction of the other parents involved.

The writer’s son had decided that for Halloween he wanted to dress up as Daphne from Scooby-Doo. She bought the costume and on Halloween he wore it to school (he attends a church preschool). Well, to say that she had a bad experience with some of the other children’s parents is an understatement.

“If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.”

“If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it. No one.”

I applaud this mom for standing up for her child and letting him choose his costume. There were plenty of girls dressed as Batman & Spiderman (not Bat Girl or Spider Girl), Tim Lincecum & Brian Wilson (Giants’ players), etc. at our school’s Halloween parade. Once again for those of you who aren’t paying attention – you can’t ‘make’ someone gay. People are born the way they are. Gay or straight or somewhere in between. Girls dress like boys; boys dress like girls; boys like dolls; some boys wear eyeliner; some girls like cars (me included!). You are who you are and you should never be ashamed of yourself. You should never be made to feel ashamed of yourself.

My oldest daughter chose a Hot Wheels birthday cake for her birthday. Then she chose the frosting colors: pink & purple. She likes what she likes. My younger daughter would have the pinkest, frilliest, girliest looking cake she could find. That’s who she is.

It’s appalling to read some of the parents reactions to this little boy’s Halloween costume. Those parents need to learn a lesson from their children. Most children are accepting and non-judgemental, at least until their parents or older children (who have already been influenced by the adults in their lives) change their outlook.

You know what my girls said? They both thought it was a great costume and the younger one has decided that she wants to wear that Daphne costume next year. I’m proud of them. They didn’t see “a boy wearing a girls costume”. They saw a kid wearing an awesome costume!

Interesting update: I finished this post and then had to leave to pick-up the girls from school. As we were walking out of school, these two older girls (4th graders maybe?) walked up behind us and I heard them making comments about my older daughter’s ‘Lightning McQueen – Cars’ umbrella. My girls were chatting away in front of me and didn’t hear any of it, but I did. They said “What’s with THAT girl? Isn’t that a BOYS umbrella?”



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